I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
