This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
