um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
