Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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