So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
