Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
