I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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