Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
