yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Do vagina's smell?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
