When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
