i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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