So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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