Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
