Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
