Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
