first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
