haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
dude i'm inner monologue high
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
