Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
