This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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