it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
