I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
