How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
