you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
