You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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