I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
