I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
