is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
