Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Randomize
