Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
