It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
