her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
