Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
