You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
