I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I made him laugh his dick is mine
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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