Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
