No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
