he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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