Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
