Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Never underestimate the power of titties
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
