After last night, I could never be a politician.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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