We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
