so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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