My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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