i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
