She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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