I've blown a few things in my day
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
