All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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