I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
