dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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