Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
