Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
