Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
