Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize