what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I want to be your penis for a week.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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